Book Review: "Two Kisses for Maddy" by Matt Logelin

I have been following Matt Logelin's blog for a little over a year. Matt's story is one of gut-wrenching heartache. In a matter of just 27 hours, Matt experienced the joyful birth of his daughter and the untimely death of his wife. The story is true and it is full of love, joy, pain, sorrow, and determination.
I couldn't put this book down and finished it in 2 days. It is very well written and it is a beautiful memoir written for his daughter. Matt's determination to provide a full life for Maddy is amazing. Just one warning: have plenty of Kleenex nearby.
I'm praying that Matt will come to know the Lord and share the love of Jesus with his beautiful daughter!

And He took the children in His arms...

...placed his hands on them and blessed them.

Mark 10:16

I have been reflecting the past few days on this time last year in our lives. One year ago today, we were just a few days shy of one of the most difficult times we've experienced as a family. If you read this blog, this picture might be a reminder...

What was to be an amazing road trip, planned from head to toe, took quite a detour about halfway through and landed us in the children's hospital in Memphis, Tennessee for 7 days. Abby had a severe case of pneumonia in her left lung (all lobes) complete with a pleural effusion. Little did we know, we were very close to things taking a terrible turn and yet, God had different plans for our Abby. Thank you, Lord! Not only did God heal Abby, He did so in a huge and miraculous way, without the need of any invasive treatments (outside of IV antibiotics).

I experienced first-hand what it was like to have a child who has a severe illness, to know what it's like to see your child suffering in pain and knowing your very touch, that usually comforts and soothes, actually increases the pain. It's a horrible, horrible feeling as a parent. And yet, the Great Physician healed our sweet Abby completely and did so within a handful of weeks.

I'm writing today to ask you to pray for the Great Physician to touch the lives of these two precious children. This handsome and charming red-head is in our weekly Community Bible Study group. He has been in the hospital since mid-February and his battle is not yet over. You can keep up with his progress and leave notes of encouragement for his family on this site.

This beautiful child is Kate McRae and her story is known by thousands. Kate has appeared on the Dr. Phil show and has touched hearts across the country. She has been battling brain cancer for a great portion of her short life. One glance into these eyes, and I was hooked and pray that God will heal her body completely. I cannot even imagine what her family is experiencing, the fears of what is to come, the devastation of seeing their child going through this horrible ordeal. Please add Kate to your prayer list. Kate's progress can be followed on this site.

The suffering of children is so difficult to understand. I trust in God's goodness and that He has a perfect plan. I know that He hears our prayers. Please join me in praying for complete healing for Jack and Kate!

EVERY good and perfect gift is from above!

I will say it again...EVERY good and perfect gift is from above! (James 1:17)

I am still feeling so overwhelmed with joy and gratitude to my Heavenly Father for his healing touch on our Abby. Yesterday, we had the 6-week follow-up, which included a set of x-rays. I had been praying for this day for the past several weeks, not missing more than 2 or 3 days, and praying specifically that the scans would be clear and there would be no trace of the pneumonia or effusion.

I could tell that Abby was doing better and was back to herself (well, maybe a bit more rotten due to the additional attention), was not favoring her left side any longer, wasn't asking for Motrin for pain, and was sleeping through the night on a consistent basis.

The doctor entered the room and asked me some questions. Basically, he wanted to know what we were observing at home, so I described Abby as I did in the paragraph above. He, in turn, looked at me with a grin from ear to ear and said, "Well I have some great news!" He went on to say the x-ray was clear and beautiful and there was not a single trace of the pneumonia or the effusion!

We serve a mighty and loving God and the tears welled up as soon as I got into the parking lot yesterday, so grateful that He not only answered our prayers for healing but even to the very specific way I had been praying.

This has been a long journey and I have learned that I have one tough little girl. The doctor said she had probably been sick for a while before we actually began to see the symptoms, which was basically a high fever that hit very suddenly. He was careful in his word selection (as he actually said so out loud), but again reminded us that Abby's case of pneumonia was a very bad and serious case. The doctors were thrilled to see how things turned out in the end and will be using her scans in teaching students and residents in their facility.

Of course, I'm not amazed in the same way as the doctors...I know Who and How this happened...I am amazed that sometimes I have so little faith in what my God can do.

Praise the Lord, O my soul;

all my inmost being, praise his holy name.

Praise the Lord, O my soul,

and forget not all his benefits-

who forgives all your sins

and heals all your diseases,

who redeems your life from the pit

and crowns you with love and compassion,

who satisfies your desires with good things

so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.

Psalm 103:1-5

Reflecting...

Does your life ever get so busy that you don't have the time to organize your own thoughts? It seems that way in our household lately. It's been a while since my last post, but I've had many thoughts bouncing around in my head, just not enough time to organize them into something of substance.

I have spent a great deal of time reflecting over the events of the past several weeks. Sometimes hindsight is 20/20 and sometimes, it's just plain unbelievable. I have to say that I have gained a greater compassion for those who have children suffering with an illness or challenge of some sort. I also have had a small sample of what it tastes like to have a healthy child in one moment and a very sick child in the next moment without any warning. (Although, maybe a warning really wouldn't be a good thing...with events like this, sometimes, being "surprised" gets you to the place you need to be to make it through.)

Looking back to the time that Abby began to be sick, I cannot help but offer full and overwhelming praise to the Lord for his provision, his healing, and the mere fact that He carried us through to the other side. He brought us through in an amazing way and there's no other person or place to give the glory. Abby's case of pneumonia coupled with an effusion (never heard that word until a few weeks ago) have amazed her doctors, both in Tennessee and here in Ohio. I am grateful that the doctors in Tennessee were conservative in their approach to surgery and allowed her body to begin to heal on its own. I am grateful that the doctors here in Ohio were comfortable with the previous decisions and continued with the healing process. We have been told that Abby's case of pneumonia and the presence of her effusion was a very serious case. One doctor even commented that this was the worst case she had seen. Our doctor here has said that every patient he has had with this amount of pneumonia and fluid has either been on IV antibiotics at home or had a chest tube surgically placed.

I am overwhelmed with gratitude for the healing the Lord has done with our sweet Abby, even to the point of not needing any invasive medical treatment. We have one more x-ray next week and I've been praying daily that the scans will be clear and any trace of pneumonia or fluid is gone and she will not have any lifelong effects (i.e., asthma, etc.).

I have to say, however, I feel as if my reflections over the past few weeks have been concentrated more on what it would be like to have a child who is sick, who is constantly in and out of the hospital, who is more familiar with doctors than with other children his/her own age. I have only tasted 7 days of what it would be like to live this way, the stress and emotions that immediately escalate every time the door opens and a doctor walks in.

I have been following the blog of a beautiful little girl who is fighting a battle with cancer. You can read all about her on her family's website here. Please be warned...you will fall in love with her big, beautiful blue eyes. Her parents are believers and the sharing of their faith is incredible. I have often wondered and even said aloud, "I don't know how people can get through this life without faith in Jesus Christ". This world can be so difficult and so painful. We all need a Savior to carry us through the difficult times.

One thing I learned during this time is that a simple gesture of kindness goes a long way. Emails, voice mails, comments on my Facebook, etc. were what I looked forward to during that week. Those messages and prayers gave me the encouragement and the boost I needed to keep going and to be reminded that God was/is in control. Knowing that others were sharing my burden and praying to our Father on my behalf was like food to my soul. If you know someone in your life who is going through a difficult time, don't miss the opportunity to be the love of Christ to them. A simple card or email will go a long way (even if they don't reply). It may be the very thing at the very right moment in time that gives them the confidence that was fleeing.

I am just as baffled as anyone and can get just as angry as anyone when I know or hear of a sick child. It doesn't seem fair to me, it doesn't seem right. I came across this verse in Ecclesiastes this week: "As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in a mother's womb, so you cannot understand the work of God, the Maker of all things." ~Ecclesiastes 11:5 This is so true! I cannot understand the work of Him, but I can understand and believe that He is the Maker of all things. I know that He loves His creation because I've read it in the Bible. I also know that children are adored and loved by Him. Mark 10:16 says "And he took the children in his arms, put his hands on them and blessed them." I will never understand the suffering of children, but I do understand that their Maker loves them even more than a mother's love.

This post has been so random, I know. I just want to encourage you to reach out to those around you who may be going through a difficult time. Don't be afraid and don't let the opportunity pass. Pray for the children who are sick, like sweet Kate. One day, our eyes will be opened, one day our understanding will be deeper. For now, I will continue to question, but my answer for this life will be faith.

What will you choose?

We're Home!

We made it home after a 12 hour drive yesterday. So glad to be here! Abby is having quite a bit of pain and we have a doctor's appointment here today. It breaks my heart to see her in such pain and to hold her and pick her up makes it worse. Tylenol and Motrin are helping, but their effects are running out before it's time for the next dose. I know each day will be better than the one before, I just hate to see her in pain.

We were greeted yesterday by balloons and signs and dinner from our amazing neighbors! It was a perfect welcome home and we are so thankful for these relationships. I cannot say thank you enough to all of you who have been praying for us. We have felt so surrounded by love and support. Your prayers, emails, texts, phone calls, cards, gifts, etc. have been so timely and have been a breath of fresh air during this difficult week.

Blessings to you all!

Happy Easter 2010!

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.

~John 3:16

Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to men by which we must be saved.

~Acts 4:12

Today is an amazing day...Easter! Today, we celebrate Jesus conquering death, rising to new life. Because of this amazing miracle, I have been given the gift of eternal life through my Savior, Jesus Christ! One day, I will also have a resurrection...what an amazing day that will be!

Thank you, Lord, for providing a way for my sins to be forgiven, for sending your son to live as a man and die a horrible death, and for bringing him back to life again! Somehow, thank you doesn't seem like near enough.

Abby's doing so much better today! After a much-needed night of sleep away from the hospital, I received the best phone call...Abby's voice letting me know the Easter Bunny had come to her hospital room. She ate breakfast, she's up and playing, getting her toes painted, laughing and talking, and bossing me around! Hallelujah!

The doctor is considering a release of today or tomorrow...so thankful! The looming threat of a chest tube seems to be behind us as long as today continues to be a good one. Eating and drinking and keeping down oral antibiotics will be the key to a successful day.

I cannot thank you all enough for your prayers, phone calls, Facebook messages, balloons, gifts, a cozy bed in a welcoming home, a visit from the Easter Bunny and positive thoughts! Jason and I have had an overwhelming amount of peace throughout this ordeal.

Happy Easter! Enjoy your egg hunts, Easter frocks, deviled eggs, family and friends. Hug your loved ones a little longer today!

Feeling Weary...

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

~Matthew 11:28-30

Feeling a bit weary and just wanting my little girl to be well! The doctor just left the room and delivered the news that we will definitely be here until tomorrow. Abby's appetite has not returned at all and the doctor is fairly certain it's due to the infection. X-rays today show the fluid to be the same. Good news is the pneumonia has not progressed.

The dreaded "chest tube" was mentioned again today. I thought we were out of the realm of that happening. My weary-worry-o-meter just shot up. Immediately, the Lord whispered the verse above in my ear.

Many of you have asked how Emily and Ben are doing. They have been troopers, but are definitely getting restless and bored. It's hard enough to have a sick child in the hospital, but it's a million times harder to be on the road, away from home, with a 6 and 9-year-old who need entertaining. Jason and I don't have the energy or desire to entertain them, but press on, we will...

The doctor complimented us for our positive attitudes and asked how we do it, saying they don't see that often. Kind of ironic that in that very moment, I felt the urge to throw something...not at her, mind you...just a random act of throwing things...maybe a little rebellion coming out, who knows!

Please continue to pray for us and thank you so much for praying!

UPDATED: A Different Kind of Easter Dress...

Many share the tradition of donning a new Easter dress and Easter shoes. For those of us who stick to that silly fashion rule, it's the first day we're "allowed" to wear white shoes. So, my girls have new dresses, new white shoes, and Ben has a new shirt (boys are so much easier!). But, it looks as if Abby will be wearing an Easter dress of a different kind this year...her hospital gown. While I'm really holding out hope that we will be at least on the road towards home, I'm also keeping my feet on the ground so reality doesn't knock me in the face.

To catch you up, if you are unaware...we were on the return home from our two week road trip to Texas and Abby somehow contracted pneumonia, oh and not just pneumonia, a HUGE case of pneumonia. But, if you know my Abby, everything she does is huge, so why wouldn't this also be?

We are riding the rollercoaster called the "watch and see what happens". We are riding the fence between improving with antibiotics and the insertion of a chest tube. Oh, and did I mention...we are not home?!?

God is providing great things...excellent medical care, a free place for us to stay (thanks to a dear friend's mom), two very cooperative older siblings (complete with minimal bickering), peace beyond comprehension for this usually high-strung anxious Mommy, and an amazing abundance of people praying just for Abby and our family.

We have seen some improvement today and need several things to happen before we're released. Abby's had a good day, but a rough evening. We need to see her fever staying low, Abby self-hydrating (no IV), her blood culture to remain negative, no need of oxygen (sats staying high), and no other random issue arising. I thought we were almost in the clear today, but tonight, her fever is back, she is in pain and she is back on the IV because she's still refusing to drink (also refusing to eat).

Thank you to those who are already praying and thank you to those of you who will start praying now. I will try and update here as I'm able.

UPDATE: As of this morning (Saturday), Abby has made HUGE improvements and I am 100% certain it's the power of your prayers that is increasing her healing process. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

The doctor this morning said that Abby's pneumonia was the worst case she's seen. Now, we need her to eat and drink. If she will begin to eat and drink, we will be released with antibiotics and can continue our trip home. We have about 12 hours of driving ahead of us and will break it up over two days to keep her as comfortable as possible.

Tears in my eyes...seriously

Today is a Pink Day

Today is a pink day...J is getting chemo today.

Hear my prayer, O Lord; let my cry come to you!

(Psalm 102:1)

Bless the Lord, O my soul,

and all that is within me,

bless his holy name!

Bless the Lord, O my soul,

and forget not all his benefits,

who forgives all your iniquity,

who heals all your diseases,

who redeems your life from the pit,

who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,

who satisfies you with good

so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.

(Psalm 103:1-5)

Today is a Pink Day

Today is Friday, a pink day here in our household. Our good friend, J, is getting chemo today. To show her support, the Curtis girls will wear something pink every Friday on her treatment day.

Please pray for her!

Hear my prayer, O Lord; let my cry come to you!

(Psalm 102:1)

Bless the Lord, O my soul,

and all that is within me,

bless his holy name!

Bless the Lord, O my soul,

and forget not all his benefits,

who forgives all your iniquity,

who heals all your diseases,

who redeems your life from the pit,

who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,

who satisfies you with good

so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.

(Psalm 103:1-5)

When the dreaded hits close to home...

If you are like me, one of the greatest fears that lurks in the back of my mind is one day being diagnosed with breast cancer. I'm sure I don't need to explain much further the reasons why, especially if you are female reading this post. I've pretty much put myself in the category (out of defense and denial) that I will never have this dreaded disease. I mean, no one in my family has had breast cancer, so it surely won't happen to me. And, to take it a step further, it's not going to happen to anyone I personally know either. As long as I can float along in this fantasy world, life is just fine.

Well, insert reality here.

My very first friend I made in Cleveland, one of the nicest gals one could ever know, shared with me this weekend the horrible news that she's been diagnosed with breast cancer. This cancer, in particular, is a very aggressive form of cancer. To spare you all the details, I'll just give you a glimpse of her 5-day journey last week. From Day 1, going to the doctor with a suspected breast infection to Day 5, being pumped with her first treatment of chemotherapy, I'm sure I don't have to fill in the details of Days 2, 3 & 4.

My mind has been consumed with her and her family. The "fixer" in me wants to find the magical thing that I can do that will fix this problem and make everything just fine. And yet, here I sit feeling so helpless. I googled "what to do when your friend has cancer" and came across some ideas. If you have a friend who has cancer or has been through cancer, hopefully these ideas will help you. And, if you have some ideas to share, please post them.

A few years ago, I learned a valuable lesson. I was at a point in my life when I absolutely couldn't do it all. I had a newborn baby at home, a 3-year-old preschooler, and my husband went into the hospital with MRSA. It was the longest week of my life. He was there for 6 nights/7 days and we were on the day-to-day "wait and see" plan. I was so torn, wanting to be with my new baby and 3-year-old and needing to be right by my husband's side. I learned in that week what it means to be blessed by others. Our friends and family lined up to bring meals, babysit, run errands, visit Jason, etc. I had a hard time at first allowing them to help me as I didn't want to feel like an imposition or pitied. I wanted to be able to throw on my cape and conquer it all! But, a friend told me that allowing others to help me is also allowing them to be blessed. This is what the church was intended to be and I needed to let the church be the church. Isn't this true? Don't you always feel blessed when you have helped someone else? They receive the blessing of your help and you receive the blessing of knowing you have helped someone in need.

My friend has so many people who love and care for her. I pray she will quickly let go of wanting to be Super Girl and allow her friends and family to pick up the slack. I pray that God will show me the best way to be her friend and to walk by her side through this journey. For now, I will start with some of these...

Send a card or email just to let her know you are thinking about her.

Don't expect a response, know that she's read it and your contact is for her to know you care.

Volunteer to run some errands for her family:

carpooling, grocery shopping, laundry, etc.

Cook dinner for the family.

Go a step further and arrange for meals to be delivered on a regular basis for a certain period of time.

Enlist family and friends to sign up.

(Make sure you gather any nutritional information, such as allergies, dislikes, etc.)

Take her to get a mani/pedi.

Buy her some new earrings or a new piece of jewelry.

As she begins to lose her hair, this will boost her spirits some.

Offer to accompany her to the wig shop.

This may be a very private task for your friend, but at the same time, she may appreciate another female's feedback.

Offer to communicate updates for her so she doesn't have to repeat herself several times.

No doubt, she will have many friends who want to know the latest news. Compose an address book that will allow this information to be sent once and reach many people.

Bring flowers.

Who doesn't love a vase of fresh flowers?

This is a great website I've found that offers advice for the time your friend is diagnosed and through the chemo and radiation treatment.

For now, I will be in constant prayer for my friend.

Please pray today...

This sweet little baby, Stellan, is in the hospital fighting for his life right now. Take some time to read his story here and spend some time on his behalf asking the Lord to heal his little body.

On a side note, I will be posting more stories and pics from our trip to Texas. I'm still sorting through pictures.

Happy 1st Birthday!

Happy 1st birthday to a very special little girl who has touched many,  many hearts!

You can read about her here.

Pray for Texas!

Hurricane Ike is on the move and is projected to hit Galveston early Saturday morning. I've been watching the news websites in Houston today and it seems as if the town has shut down for tomorrow in preparation for Ike's arrival. I know all too well the restless anticipation of storms and watching the news wondering if predictions will come true. Please pray for the safety of all those in Ike's path!

The Chapmans

You probably heard on the news about the tragic accident involving two of Steven Curtis Chapman's children, resulting in the death of their youngest daughter. I can't even imagine the depth of their grief. Their first public interview since the accident was with Good Morning America this week. I watched it last night with tears in my eyes, just trying to picture myself having the faith they have and choosing to hold on to that faith and light when it would be so easy to sink into the depths of darkness. Please continue to pray for their family.

Pray today...

...for Nathan, Tricia and Gwyneth. If you have followed their story, you know what an amazing miracle Baby Gwyneth is and the miracles along the way to her birth that God provided. These guys are again in need of a miracle as Tricia's new lungs have been afflicted with cancer. She has not responded well to the first treatment and they will begin a more rigorous treatment that will have many unwanted side effects. Tricia has been through so much! Please take a moment to familiarize yourself with their story. It will bring you closer to the Lord and to the ones you love! Take time to pray as Tricia begins her new treatment that the cancer will respond to the treatment. You can follow their story here.

My nephew is here!

My nephew entered the world this morning 

a little bit before 8:00, Texas time.

Mommy and baby Miles are doing great.

I can't wait to meet you in person, precious little one!

Pink AND Blue...

I am so excited! Tomorrow will be a very special day. Two of my favorite people in this world (my sister, Natalie, and my friend, Claire) are having babies; both in Texas, but in two different cities. Miles (my nephew) & Avery (Claire's pink bundle) will soon make their appearances. And best of all, I will get to see them in 10 days!

Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; 

You formed me in my mother's womb. 

I thank you, High God - you're breathtaking! 

Body and soul, I am marvelously made! 

I worship in adoration - what a creation! 

You know me inside and out; 

You know every bone in my body; 

You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, 

How I was sculpted from nothing into something. 

Like an open book, you watched me grow 

from conception to birth; 

All the stages of my life were spread out before you, 

The days of my life all prepared before I'd even lived one day.

Psalm 139: 13-16

(The Message)

Lord, I lift up Natalie and Claire to you. I pray for peace and a calming presence about them. I pray for safe and speedy deliveries and healthy babies. Thank you, Lord, for the gift of life. You have a plan for Miles and Avery. You knew them before You knit them together in their mother's womb. I pray they will grow to love you and know you as their Lord and Savior.          ~Amen.